Let’s get one thing straight right now: if your faith feels like a dumpster fire, you might actually be growing.
I know. That sounds insane. We’ve been sold this lie that spiritual growth feels like a steady climb up a sunlit mountain with a soundtrack from The Chosen. But after a decade of watching people (myself included) stumble through their beliefs, I’ve realized the exact opposite is true. Real growth? It feels like getting your spiritual teeth kicked in. It feels confusing, quiet, and often, like you’re moving backward.
Here’s what most people miss: We mistake emotional comfort for spiritual health. If you’re happy, you think you’re close to God. If you’re anxious, you think you’re failing. But that’s a terrible metric. Some of the most profound growth happens in the seasons where you feel absolutely nothing.
So, how do you know if you’re actually growing when your internal dashboard says “Check Engine”? Let’s look at the dirty, honest signs.
1. You’re Comfortable Saying “I Don’t Know”
Let’s be honest: the most annoying Christians are the ones who have an answer for everything. I used to be that guy. I had a theology for why my coffee was cold in the morning. But real growth looks different.
One of the first signs your faith is maturing is a willingness to sit in the mystery. You stop pretending you have God figured out. You stop needing to defend your position on every minor doctrine. Instead of “The Bible clearly says…” you start saying “I’m not sure, but I trust the One who is.”
I’ve found that the more you grow, the smaller your “certainty box” gets. You become less interested in being right and more interested in being present. If you’re currently in a season where you have more questions than answers, don’t panic. That’s not a crisis of faith. That’s a sign your faith is actually becoming yours, not just a hand-me-down from your pastor or parents.
2. You’re Less Interested in “Spiritual Performance”
Here’s the dirty secret of the modern church: we are addicted to applause. We want people to see us serving, praying, and fasting. We want the “Good and Faithful Servant” badge on our Instagram bio.
But when your faith is actually growing? You get weirdly quiet.
I’ve noticed that people who are genuinely growing stop trying to impress God or others. They don’t need to be the loudest voice in the prayer group. They don’t need to post their quiet time highlights. They realize that the Christian life isn’t a Broadway show; it’s a backstage job.
If you find yourself caring less about what your small group thinks of your prayer life, and more about just showing up for the janitor at work who is having a hard day—that’s growth. The ego hates obscurity. The Spirit loves it.
3. Your Prayer Life Sounds Like a Hangover Conversation
We’ve been taught that prayer should be eloquent. “Dear Heavenly Father, we come before You today with humble hearts…”
Stop it.
Real, growing faith produces messy prayers. The longer I walk with God, the less my prayers sound like a formal letter and the more they sound like a desperate text to a best friend. “God, I’m scared.” “Help, I messed up again.” “Why is this so hard?”
Look at the Psalms. David didn’t pray like a politician. He prayed like a man in a cave, screaming at the walls. If your prayer life has devolved into short, raw, honest sentences—or even silence where you just sit and cry—you aren’t backsliding. You’re getting real. You’re finally treating God like a real person, not a cosmic vending machine.
4. You’re More Sensitive to the Pain of Others (But Less Sensitive to Slight)
This one is a paradox, but it’s the clearest litmus test I know.
When you are spiritually immature, you are hypersensitive to how people treat you. You get offended easily. You hold grudges. You keep a mental ledger of who wronged you.
But when your faith is growing? You start to flip the script. You become “thick-skinned” for yourself, but “thin-skinned” for others.
I’ve found that growth makes you less reactive to insults or being overlooked. You can let things slide because your identity is anchored in Christ, not in your reputation. At the same time, your heart breaks more easily for the homeless guy on the corner or the coworker who just lost a parent. You feel the weight of the world more, but your personal triggers become weaker.
If you find yourself crying more for strangers and forgiving more quickly for yourself, that’s the fruit of the Spirit. That is growth.
5. You’re Getting “Worse” at Temptation (At First)
Nobody talks about this. We think growth means we sin less. But sometimes, growth means you see your sin more clearly.
Imagine you move into a dusty old house. On day one, you don’t see the dust. But when you turn on the bright light of the sun? Suddenly, the dust is everywhere. It looks like the house got dirtier—but really, you just have better light.
When the Holy Spirit starts working in your life, He turns up the brightness. You start noticing pride you never saw before. You see the selfishness in your generosity. You see the anger hiding under your “polite” smile.
This feels terrible. You feel like you’re backsliding because you’re “sinning more.” But you aren’t. You’re just finally aware of the junk that was always there. This is the most painful, necessary stage of growth. Don’t quit here.
6. You Stop Trying to “Fix” Everyone
There is a season in every believer’s life where you think you’re the Holy Spirit’s assistant manager. You see a friend struggling with anxiety, and you immediately pull out three Bible verses and a rebuke. You see a family member making a bad choice, and you feel compelled to “speak truth” (which is usually just code for “be rude”).
But mature faith? It shuts up.
Growing faith learns the power of presence over preaching. I’ve found that the longer I follow Jesus, the less I feel the need to correct everyone. I realize that God is big enough to handle their process. My job isn’t to fix them; it’s to love them.
If you are learning to sit with people in their mess without handing them a three-point sermon outline, you are growing. That is the hardest lesson to learn, because our ego loves being the hero. But Jesus didn’t come to fix our theology; He came to fix us.
7. You’re Bored with the “Secondary Stuff”
Finally, here is the sign nobody warns you about: You get bored with the noise.
The debates about worship styles. The drama over church politics. The obsession with end-times charts. The “prophetic word” that sounds suspiciously like a fortune cookie.
When your faith is shallow, you live for this drama. It’s entertainment. But when you start to grow, these things feel like dust in your mouth. You don’t care about the style of music because you just want to encounter God. You don’t care about the denomination because you just want to love your neighbor.
This boredom isn’t cynicism. It’s refinement. Your spiritual palate is maturing. You’re starting to crave the meat of the Word—the hard stuff about forgiveness, sacrifice, and dying to self. The candy of Christian culture loses its flavor.
The Bottom Line
If you read this list and thought, “Wow, I’m failing at all of these,” you might actually be doing better than you think. Real growth is invisible to the one experiencing it. It’s like your kids growing taller—you only see it when you look at the marks on the wall from a year ago.
Stop measuring your faith by your feelings. Feelings are liars. Measure it by your response to mystery, your comfort with silence, and your love for difficult people.
You aren’t falling apart. You might just be growing up.