I remember the exact moment I realized “instead” was the most powerful word in entertainment. I was sitting on my couch, remote in hand, scrolling through Netflix for forty-five minutes. Forty-five minutes. That’s longer than some episodes I was trying to watch. I kept clicking on thrillers, then backing out. Romantic comedies, then sighing. Documentaries, then groaning.
My wife walked in and said, “Just pick something.”
“I can’t,” I said. “Nothing feels right.”
She grabbed the remote, scrolled past all my half-hearted choices, and landed on a bizarre Japanese cooking competition where contestants had to make desserts blindfolded. I almost protested. But she hit play.
Two hours later, I was hooked. I hadn’t wanted that show. I wanted something else. But what I did instead changed my entire evening.
That’s when the penny dropped. *Entertainment isn’t about what you choose — it’s about what you choose instead.
Let me explain.
The Hidden Choice Nobody Talks About
Here’s what most people miss: every time you consume entertainment, you’re not just choosing between options A, B, and C. You’re choosing instead of something else. That “instead” is the real decision.
Think about it. When you open YouTube, you’re not just deciding between video essays and cat compilations. You’re deciding to watch YouTube instead of reading that book on your nightstand. Instead of calling your mom. Instead of going for a walk.
Most of us never acknowledge this. We think we’re picking content. But we’re actually picking what we’re avoiding.
I’ve found that the most satisfying entertainment experiences come when I’m honest about what I’m choosing instead of. Am I choosing a comedy special instead of dealing with my anxiety about tomorrow’s meeting? Am I choosing a four-hour documentary instead of confronting a difficult conversation?
When you name the “instead,” you stop pretending entertainment is just fun.
Sometimes it is just fun. That’s fine. But when you’re stuck in a rut — rewatching The Office for the seventh time, scrolling TikTok until your thumb cramps — you’re not choosing entertainment. You’re choosing avoidance. And that’s a very different thing.
The “Instead” Trap: Why You Keep Watching Stuff You Hate
Let’s get personal. Be honest: how many times have you watched a show you didn’t even like, all the way to the end? I’m guilty of this. I watched an entire season of a reality dating show that made me feel hollow. Why? Because I started it, and I couldn’t bring myself to do the thing I should have done instead.
The “instead” trap works like this: You’re tired. You’re stressed. Your brain wants a dopamine hit without effort. So you reach for the easiest option — the algorithm’s suggestion, the trending video, the show everyone’s talking about. You tell yourself you’re relaxing. But you’re not relaxing. You’re numbing.
Here’s the secret the entertainment industry doesn’t want you to know: they design content to be “just good enough” to keep you from leaving. It doesn’t have to be great. It just has to be better than the alternative you’re avoiding.
Think about the last movie you watched that was mediocre. Was it genuinely bad? Probably not. It was probably fine. But you watched it instead of doing something that would have actually made you feel good — like working on a hobby, having a real conversation, or even just sleeping.
The solution isn’t to stop consuming entertainment. It’s to be ruthless about your “instead.”
The 3-Question Test That Changed How I Watch Everything
I developed a simple framework after that night with the blindfolded cooking show. Before I start anything — a movie, a series, a YouTube video, even a podcast — I ask myself three questions:
- What am I choosing this instead of? Be specific. “Instead of working” is too vague. “Instead of finishing that proposal due tomorrow” is honest.
- Is this “instead” worth it? If I’m choosing a movie instead of sleep, maybe not. If I’m choosing it instead of doomscrolling Twitter, absolutely yes.
- What would I watch/do if I had no fear of missing out? This one’s tricky. FOMO is real. But honestly, nobody cares what you watch. Pick the thing you actually want, not the thing everyone else is watching.
The test works because it forces you to confront the real cost of your choices. Every minute you spend on entertainment is a minute you’re not spending on something else. Time is the only resource you can’t get back. Treat it like it matters.
Why “Boring” Entertainment Is Actually the Best
Here’s a hot take: some of the best entertainment I’ve consumed this year was boring.
Not boring-boring. But slow. Quiet. Unassuming. No explosions, no cliffhangers, no dopamine tricks. Just a story that trusted me to pay attention.
I watched a French film last month where two people sat in a café and talked for forty minutes. Nothing happened. No car chase. No reveal. Just dialogue. I almost turned it off three times. But I stayed. And by the end, I was crying.
Why? Because I chose it instead of distraction.Most modern entertainment is designed to hijack your attention. Quick cuts. Loud music. Emotional manipulation. It works — but it leaves you feeling empty. The “instead” choice here is between
stimulation and satisfaction.I’ve found that when I’m honest about what I need, I usually don’t need stimulation. I need satisfaction. And satisfaction often comes from slower, deeper experiences.
Try this: next time you’re about to watch something, ask yourself — “Am I choosing this instead of feeling something real?” If the answer is yes, you might want to pick something that lets you feel.
Boredom is not the enemy of entertainment. It’s the gateway to the good stuff.
The Algorithm Is Lying to You (And Your “Instead” Is the Escape)
Let’s talk about the elephant in the room: algorithms.
Netflix, YouTube, TikTok, Spotify — they all want you to keep watching. Their goal is not your satisfaction. It’s your
time. The longer you stay, the more money they make.The algorithm doesn’t care about your “instead.” It doesn’t know that you’re choosing a show instead of spending time with your partner. It doesn’t know that you’re watching a video instead of exercising. It just knows you’re watching.
And here’s the dirty secret: algorithms are designed to keep you in a state of
almost-but-not-quite satisfaction. They give you content that’s good enough to keep you going, but never so good that you feel complete and stop.I noticed this pattern with my own viewing habits. I’d watch a great episode, feel satisfied, and then… the algorithm would immediately play the next episode. “Just one more,” it whispered. And suddenly I’d watched three more hours of a show I was only marginally interested in.
Your “instead” is your escape from the algorithm. When you consciously decide what you’re choosing
instead of, you break the autoplay spell. You regain control.Here’s what I do now: I never let the algorithm choose my next watch. I finish something, I pause, I ask myself what I want to do
instead of watching more. Sometimes the answer is “watch more.” But often it’s “go for a walk” or “read a chapter” or “just sit in silence for five minutes.”That silence? That’s worth more than any show.
The Surprising Thing I Learned When I Stopped Consuming
I tried an experiment last year. For one week, I consumed no scripted entertainment. No shows. No movies. No narrative podcasts. Just music, nature, conversations, and books.
It was uncomfortable for the first two days. I kept reaching for my phone. I felt restless. Bored. Like I was missing something important.
But by day four, something shifted. I started noticing the entertainment that was already around me.
The way light fell through the window in the afternoon. The rhythm of my breathing during a walk. The story my neighbor told me about her dog. Real life, it turns out, is pretty entertaining when you’re not constantly comparing it to scripted versions.
That week taught me that the best “instead” isn’t always another show. Sometimes the best “instead” is
nothing. Or real life. Or your own thoughts*.I’m not saying you should stop watching things. I love movies. I love TV. I love storytelling in all its forms. But I’ve learned that entertainment is a spice, not the main course. When you make it the main course, you starve yourself of everything else.
Your “Instead” Is Your Signature
Here’s what I want you to take away from this: the entertainment you choose reveals who you are, but the “instead” you choose reveals who you want to be.
Every time you pick a show, a movie, a game, a song — you’re making a tiny decision about your identity. Are you the person who watches reality TV instead of practicing guitar? Are you the person who watches documentaries instead of doomscrolling? Are you the person who reads a book instead of watching the trending series?
None of these are wrong. But they are choices. And the more conscious you are of them, the more your entertainment serves you instead of using you.
I still watch trashy reality TV sometimes. I still binge shows I don’t love. I’m human. But now I do it with my eyes open. I know what I’m choosing instead of. And that knowledge gives me the power to change my mind.
Next time you pick up the remote, pause. Ask yourself: “What am I choosing this instead of?” And then decide if that trade is worth it.
Because it always is — or it isn’t. But only you get to decide.
Now, I’m going to go watch that blindfolded cooking show again. Not because it’s great, but because it reminds me of the night I stopped pretending and started choosing.
What are you going to choose instead?